Referral Day

The Big Day in the adoption world is almost like the day you give birth because it's the first time you see your child .... even if just in a picture. It's an amazing feeling and unlike anything I have experienced before in my life. This is how it all went down:

The day starts out as usual, getting ready for work and getting Jalen ready for school and dropping him off. Geno's out of town for 5 weeks for training so it's just me and Jalen. I get to work and stay until about 1:10 pm at which time I have to leave because I have to pick up Jalen and make it to his 2:00 pm dental appointment. We go to the dentist, get out a little after 3 pm and then head on to the park/playground b/c it's a beautiful day in the mid 70s.

So as I'm going about my business, CHI's been calling me and emailing me and even calling Geno. CHI is our adoption agency. But Geno couldn't talk long to our adoption consultant because he was on his 10 min break from class and had to go back to class. So I don't even know all of this is happening. Around 4 pm or so it's starting to get a little dark and I'm wondering what time it is. So I'm going to the car to get my phone out of my purse and that's when I saw that I missed some calles, one of them was CHI's phone call. Now I'm starting to shake, wondering could this be the day??? They never really call out of the blue. So I call back right away and get a hold of our adoption consultant and she tells me to my absolute amazement and surprise that they called us because they have a referral for us. She tells me all kinds of other stuff too, and I even say something back, but now, I can't remember what that conversation was all about ..... all I could think of: little girl, [name: absolutely beautiful], 4 years old ...... that's all I could digest at the time... Now I've been through military boot-camp and all kinds of pressures and crazy moments .... but nothing compares to how I felt during that phone call ... I just absolutely couldn't concentrate on what was being said to me or what I was even saying or asking.

So the phone conversation ends eventually, and I'm in a fog ..... what has just happened? .... I can't call Geno b/c he's still in class .... I don't want to call anyone other than him ...... so I'm just watching Jalen play ... all the while thinking that OMG, today we received a referral. Well, it was dark by the time we came home, I wanted to wait until after 5 pm for Geno to get out of class so that we can set it up to where we'll look at her ... our future babygirl darling daughter at the same time.

Once at home, Jalen and I get on the computer with the phone in our hand, and Geno gets on the computer in his hotel lobby also with the phone in his hand and at the same time ..... we saw her, we looked at her ...... she was soooo beautiful .... Geno said: "Baby, she is sooo cute!" and Jalen put his hands on the laptop screen, looked at me and smiled a shy smile kinda of way and said something I did not expect from him and caught me off guard, but was sooo beautiful; he said: "she is perfect, like Peaches!" Peaches is the mamoth babygirl in the movie Ice Age - Dawn of the Dinosaurs..... so anyway, it was so cute so unexpected of him, it brought tears to my eyes .... so exciting .... we just stared at her ..... and then after a while we started reading the report.

Eventually we got off the phone because I had to get dinner ready for Jalen, get him bathed and in the bed. Once he fell asleep ..... I was soooo wound up I thought I was going to explode. I talked to Geno some more, I talked to my mom-in-law (who was soooo happy for us) ... and then I emailed a few friends of mine from my adoption circle of friends and even got on the phone with one of my friends and we talked forever - even thought this was supposed to be her time to unwind from a hard day's work - but no, she stayed and talked to me on the phone until she got home. Thank you so much, Amanda .... love ya girl...... Needless to say it was a sleepless night until about 2:30 in the morning. After talking to my friend, I called Geno again, and then I called my Mom in Germany and talked for quite a while ..... don't even want to think of the phone bill right now :). But she was soooo happy for us too, and completely caught off guard as well.

Eventually, I was sooo tired and just went to bed. This was too much. Never in a million years would I have thought that yesterday - 2 November 2009 - was meant to be OUR DAY .... especially since our adoption consultant let me know at about the 6 or 7 months waiting mark, that the way it looks, we should not expect anything before our 1 year waiting mark which would be in February of next year. So, that devastated me at the time, but I came to terms with it eventually .... well, what other choice is there .... those in the adoption world know what I mean. Now, in a weird way I'm glad she said that to me, because when that call came yesterday, it was completely, utterly, and absolutely ... THE BEST SURPRISE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

So now what's next? Well, now we wait, and wait and wait some more for a court date ...... but at least now, while I'm waiting I got this beautiful little face I can stare at and day dream about .... I can't wait to share her with everyone and call her MY DAUGHTER .... for real...... Please pray for us that we get a court date soon, and that we pass the first time around. GOD is sooo good to me .... all my life I felt his presence, and I'm not even a church going person .... but I talk to him and feel him ....he's bailed me out so many times from trouble that could've found me, and never did ..... all this time I have prayed for "a referral before Christmas this year" .... all the while not even really believing it myself ..... and he granted me the wish. I am in awe and amazement .... I feel so humbled. I can't believe I know now who my daughter is.

Huhhh, I needed this blog outlet to let it all out .....